Winter Break 2024. Chapter 4. Make It Make Sense.

I literally can’t even. There is no other way to begin.

Last night we were in rough seas. Angry seas, my friends. Like an old man, trying to send back soup in a deli.

It was like we were bouncing around, rolling left and right, up and down. I mean, we knew it would be rough Monday, but the Captain said it should have calmed down by evening. Well, this was the opposite. It was nerve wracking and in the middle of the night Hallie got up and said she was scared. I was up and down all night (and apparently so was Tzvi).

I woke up Tuesday morning and about 2 minutes later my darling husband said he needed to go vomit. He said he had basically been up all night feeling nauseous, so we assumed it was just sea sickness. Alas, we are not so lucky. Tzvi had chosen this exact moment, day 3 of a seven day vacation, to get his annual stomach virus. It’s weird because this went around our house two weeks ago, and he didn’t get it. Guess he was saving it.

So he was out. The rest of us got dressed and went to breakfast, still bopping around. Also we couldn’t figure out what time it was because apparently our phones went an hour ahead. It’s all very confusing.

Then the captain came on the speaker to give us the “explanation” for the rough seas. He told us that last night there was a “medical emergency” and they decided to go full speed ahead to Honduras. So instead of docking in Honduras on Wednesday at 8:00am, we we’re going to arrive Tuesday at 10:30pm, with a ship of 6000 nauseated people and one (likely) critically ill person. We also couldn’t dock in Cozumel, which was closer, because they already had seven ships docked and there wasn’t any parking. What doesn’t make sense is why they didn’t Medivac this person out by helicopter, but instead ruined the night and day of 6000 people so they could rush them to a clinic in the back of a Honduran grocery store. Can someone make it make sense? It was so rough that they had vomit bags placed around the ship. Madeleine took one and brought it to Tzvi.

After breakfast I decided once again to try to get the kids into the kids club. To be fair, Madeleine kept asking to go. We stood around for a while and finally Hallie went in. Madeleine would only go after I bribed her with the promise of M and Ms and told her that Hallie would play with her (as I mentioned earlier, the ages are separated so they don’t really allow this). Well, apparently Madeleine started crying after Hallie left but I showed up right as they were going to call me to come get her. During my twenty minutes or so of free time I went and got a cup of coffee. Obviously when Hallie saw me she wanted to leave too, but not before saying bye to a new friend she met named Hailey.

From there we went to the Promenade for the celebratory parade. What were they celebrating? Every holiday including New Years, Halloween, St. Patrick’s Day, everyone’s birthday, weddings and more. It was very cute and they kids enjoyed.

By this time, even though it was rocky and windy it was sunny so it was time to try our luck at some water activities. Oh, did I mention all of the pools were closed because it was so windy due to our speed. Awesome. Thankfully the kids splash pad was open so we hung out there. There is a baby section and a kid section. They went in both, but Madeleine liked the baby section because it had smaller slides she could go on. Eventually someone told her she couldn’t be there because it was just for non- toilet trained kids. I don’t understand why that’s a problem. Like, if she wanted to hang around a pee infested pool isn’t that her prerogative? I would understand the opposite, but whatever.

[Tzvi: In case anyone is wondering what I did, I laid in bed. I spent three hours telling myself I was going to get up, fight through, and go outside. Finally at 2pm I got dressed and left the room. I took a walk for about 5 minutes to Central Park so I could change our dining reservations (we had specialty dining booked for the evening and I wasn’t going to make that). Well, 5 minutes was about all I could handle. It was enough to see that I was missing a very nice day. I went back to the room and collapsed on the bed.]

By then it was about 2:15 so we went for lunch at the buffet while Inbar went to her Flash Mob practice. Really looking forward to being surprised by that Flash Mob. We checked on dad in the room who was ailing (and brought him some red powerades from the gym), and then hung around the carousel area. Hallie and I went up the do the Abyss, the ten story slide. It was pretty scary and I’m really proud she did it. It’s a fun slide.

We got ready for dinner, and headed to the 5:15 family science lab activity. We were supposed to eat at Jamie’s Italian tonight, but because of Tzvi’s illness, we pushed it to Friday. So we didn’t rush to our usually dining room time of 5pm and instead did science! By science, I mean we watched a woman pour together vinegar, food coloring, water, dish soap, and baking soda to make a “volcanic eruption.” The kids enjoyed it.

For dinner I decided to go one level down from our usual dining room. They told us if there was no table we’d have to wait until 7:30 to eat, which was ridiculous, but thankfully they found us a table, right next to a table of like ten Jews. How is it that there are only 250 of them but somehow we always end up next to them? At dinner Inbar and I discussed our theories. Observant Jews live their lives very insulated, doing their own things, eating at their own restaurants, and generally spending time with each other. So no one really cares when the others aren’t acting wonderfully. If I have five kids, then I can empathize with someone else who has five kids and not care if two of them are screaming in a restaurant, right? So then, these people figure out that they can take a cruise vacation and still manage to eat, and they come to this place filled with non Jews, and they just don’t understand how to act. I mean hey, I’m one of them, but it’s just like amazing how they don’t see us. At one point the 3 year old at the table next to us was just screaming and everyone around him was like ‘oh haha are you sad?” Also at one point the kid broke a glass and then they were looking in his mouth for glass shards.

Anyway, back to dinner, ironically it was Italian night. I had some vegan spaghetti Bolognese which was fine. The desserts actually were pretty good. But of course, we made a buffet stop because “tzvi needed bananas” which he never actually ate. The girls of course got ice cream and Hallie saw her friend Hayley. Maybe she’ll go to the kids club with her. Then again, probably not.

We did a final carousel for the evening and then it was time for bed. Inbar went to the 18-25 year old meet up to play board games and made friends. She found some Jews, obviously. Once the girls were sleeping I went out and got my nightly cappuccino and Kahlua and cream. I ended up just sitting at a bar for a while scrolling my phone. I just needed to not hear any voices or breathing. It was nice. I went back to the room where Tzvi was going in and out of consciousness, though he said he was feeling a little better.

Then I sat out on our windy deck watching the bright lights of Roatan, Honduras welcome us late in the evening. I hope whoever needs the medical care got it and had a speedy recovery. Perhaps they would like to take Tzvi as well?