Israel 2023. Chapter 1: Sheldon’s Office, Mordechai Ha-Yehudi Street.
There comes a moment in every vacation where you pack your bags and say goodbye. On this vacation, that moment came six times.
The whole Shabbos Tzvi was very stressed about leaving. Every hour he announced how many hours were left until we had to leave, and twenty minutes before Shabbos was over everyone was required to have their shoes on and be ready to walk out the door. As soon as Shabbos ended, we called two Ubers. They took 15 minutes to come, which was a very long time according to Tzvi. Of course, it started pouring five minutes before the Ubers arrived.
I got to the airport first so I flagged a porter with a big cart, but then this other woman started complaining that she needed help with her bags or she would miss her flight to Milan, except she only had two bags. The porter left me with his massive cart and our suitcases. Finally Tzvi got to the airport and loaded all of the suitcases onto the cart, except there was still no man. Tzvi was about to start pushing the cart through the airport but the porter came back just in time.
Tzvi was nervous about getting to the airport because El Al check in usually takes forever. He had a theory that if we left the second Shabbos ended, we’d beat all of the people who still had to daven ma’ariv and walk home from shul (he is obviously not included in this category). Well, the line really wasn’t that bad, but I guess we’ll never know if that was because it just wasn’t that bad tonight, or because Tzvi made us miserable and rushed us to the airport. The actual check-in took extra long because Benjamin wasn’t there. Who was Benjamin? No idea, but the woman kept saying there was a Benjamin on our reservation. I don’t know if she thought we were lying or what, but we eventually managed to convince her otherwise and we were on our way!
Everywhere we turned at the airport we saw people we knew. We saw someone from the neighborhood, someone from college and someone from Tzvi’s law firm. Then, as we were walking to the gate we saw Mariska Hargitay and her husband (from the Percil commercials). She looked great. I would have said hello, but she turned a corner and went down stairs before I could get to her. Probably for the best.
Everything just kind of went smoothly. Of course Tzvi wanted to be on the plane as close to first as possible, and then it took a while to push back and was kind of a bumpy flight, but ultimately it was a pretty good flight. I didn’t sleep, but the kids slept on me. Tzvi listened to the same podcast about the fall of the Soviet Union four times; every time he turned it on he immediately fell asleep and woke up at the end.
Even once we landed, everything went smoothly. There was a long line for passport control but they pulled us off that line because of the kids and just sent us through. We happened to run into Jane Schiff (my HAFTR bio teacher) and her daughter in law Deena Schiff (works at JNF). Who will we see next?! By the time we got to baggage claim Inbar already had most of our bags, and unlike past El Al flights, all of the bags eventually came out. Inbar’s father was waiting for her with balloons, which was cute. We said goodbye to Inbar, who is going home to her family for a few days. Then we met our driver, but not before stopping at Aroma to get an Iced Aroma. I feel like I always land in this airport and try to get Aroma but it’s always closed. Not today. We then ran into another college friend in the elevator. This trip/traveling has been a trip down memory lane.
After about an hour we pulled up to my parents apartment on Mordechai Ha-Yehudi Street. It took about 3 or 4 trips up the tiny elevator to get all of our stuff into the apartment. My parents got dinner for us from Hamburgerim, which is their local hamburger place. I had a burger, Tzvi had a meat wrap and the kids had burgers and schnitzel. It was very good and they served us a very nice dinner. The girls were wired, but exhausted.
Tzvi and I slept in my father’s office and the girls slept in the Mamad (the shelter) in two twin beds that we pushed together, so they were pretty excited about that. The night went as well as it could’ve gone. The girls woke up a bunch and I think were totally awake from 3:30-5:00 and were basically playing in the bed. It wasn’t great, but wasn’t that bad. Tzvi mostly dealt with the girls. The office has these metal shutters on the windows (called “trisim” in Hebrew), which are on a timer. This apartment is brand new, and it’s Israel – the most technologically advanced country in the world – so you would think that they would put in a digital timer or something. Nope. They put a literal ticking clock (like an old school timer) in the wall, conveniently located directly above the head of the bed. The ticking kept us up, but Tzvi put on his Russia podcast and went right to sleep.
We finally got up and were upset that my parents were making so much noise in the kitchen, until my mother yelled ‘Do you know what time it is?’ Turns out we’d fallen back asleep and it was 10:15am. Of course my mother was still in a robe and hadn’t had breakfast, so I guess it’s all relative. In case you’ve lost track, it’s now Monday morning.
We took it really slow. We lounged in the apartment for a while, had breakfast and made it out around 12:00. We took a bus to Machane Yehuda, which probably took 40 minutes. I think my parents wanted to show us how they’ve really become locals and mastered the transit system.
We first went to the place where Tzvi got the amazing goose sandwich last year, because today was the only opportunity on the whole trip to get it, but they didn’t have goose. The man said something in Hebrew that we didn’t really understand. I think they’ve eaten all of the geese in Israel or something. I think Tzvi was disappointed because he couldn’t get the sandwich, but also relieved because he wasn’t in the mood for it. We walked to the shuk and did our business, obviously stopping at Rosemary to procure $100+ of dried fruit for pesach. Hallie also bought a box of fresh (unwashed) strawberries and just started eating them there.
For lunch we got the girls pizza at Craft, which happened to be next to a shakshuka place that I’d seen Peas Love and Carrots post about, so Tzvi and I got shakshuka sandwiches. There were a lot of people at the shakshuka place but we couldn’t figure out who was a customer and who was working there. We were asking questions about the food and people sitting at tables started answering us. It turned out they were all related to the owner and all from Staten Island. Anyway, the sandwiches were delicious.
I took my sandwich to go because I had to leave for work. I went to the JNF high school campus in Hod Hasharon.
[Tzvi: After lunch we walked down to Ben Yehuda Street, bought some kippas and then took another bus back. The kids rode the kiddie rides outside the hamburger place and then we went back to the apartment. I changed and then took a cab to the train station and hopped on a train to Tel Aviv. I think the station here is even farther underground than Grand Central Madison. The train was really nice and fast, but the most impressive thing was that it was actually on time. I think the MTA needs to consult with Israel.
I got out and tried to get a cab but the Gett app wasn’t finding anything and the taxis sitting outside the station wouldn’t take me with the meter. (it’s a thing in Israel that you can either negotiate a price or pay by the meter, and of course with a negotiated price you’ll often get ripped off. I think technically they’re not supposed to refuse to take you by the meter, but they always do.) I decided to walk and it took me about 45 minutes, making a quick stop at Lechamim (which is the original Bread’s Bakery) to buy some pastries.
I met Yoni Bain at Felix Wine Bar. Yoni and I have known each other since first grade and were in school together over the years and at NYU, but I haven’t seen him in a few years. He lives in Tel Aviv and it was great to catch up with him.
I got a cab and headed over to Sarona Market to meet Steph. We were stopped on a street corner and there were a lot of people milling around. The cab driver told me that since they announced that they were delaying the vote on the judicial reforms you could really sense a shift. He said the last month no one has been smiling, and today everyone is out and smiling. He said you can just feel it in the air.]
Tzvi and I both got cabs and met at Sarona Market for our anniversary dinner at Whiskey Bar and Museum. The restaurant is underground in a templar tunnel that the menu said was used by the Mosad until recently. The walls are lined with whiskey bottles and they really have an amazing selection. We both got cocktails and also had a flight of Israeli whiskeys (for those interested, we had Golani Black, M&H Elements Sherry, Slingshot, and Yreushalmi Mount Moriah); there was no reason to order a flight of any other whiskeys since you can do the same tasting on any Shabbos morning in the Beth Sholom security room, so we opted for something different. The whiskeys were… interesting.
Dinner was excellent. We had bread and dips, a grilled vegetable salad with cashew cream and beat cream, sliced smoked goose breast with artichoke cream and blueberry jam, and two steaks. My favorite was the filet with truffle mashed potato and whiskey sauce, but Tzvi preferred the fattier rib eye. We couldn’t decide what to do for dessert so we got three things – a chocolate bomb (chocolate caramel mousse, cocoa streusel, brownies, hazelnut nougat, toffee sauce and hazelnut ice cream), a “black sour” (lemon cream served on passion fruit and mango cake, fruit sauce, white streusel, meringue, dried raspberry and black sesame tuille) and a lotus cigar thing (two cigars filled with lotus cream with caramel sauce and caramelized bananas) . It was all really fantastic. The waitress had doubted our ability to consume 3 desserts, but she clearly didn't know who she was dealing with. After we were done she said she was impressed. I don’t know if that’s a compliment. She was a really good server and was telling us how there is a food test you can take that if you pass it you get a bigger percentage of tips (no idea if she was just talking about that restaurant or Israeli restaurants generally). She also said she has a masters degree and worked in tech but because of the tech crisis in Israel she’s working as a waitress.
We got back to Jerusalem around 11:30 and found the kids wide awake. Either it was jet lag or the fact that my mom had fed them Oreos moments before we walked in. We also found my father in his office/our bedroom, and basically had to fight him to leave so we could go to sleep. I think he he had been annoyed since we arrived that he was kicked out of his office. We eventually got my father our and the kids to sleep and everyone did pretty well over night.
Tuesday morning we got up slowly again, ate breakfast in the apartment, packed up, and headed out. We walked around for a place where I could get a manicure, but couldn’t find one. We stopped by Abby and Mordy’s house to say hello, and then around 12 and headed to Grand Café to meet my parents for lunch. I had a tuna sandwich that was ok but it was basically just tuna. It could’ve used egg and pickles and some kind of other dressing… so basically everything you need to make a sandwich. Tzvi got a salad with smoked tuna, but I don’t know what means. [Tzvi: I ate it and I still don’t know.] My dad got a bagel with lox; it’s funny how you go to Israel and everything is so much fresher and tastier, and it’s an entire country full of Jews, many of whom are from New York, and still, no one can make a good bagel.
After lunch we went back to the apartment and met Igor. If anyone needs a recommendation for a Russian tour guide, please message me. I have a great one. Igor is extremely knowledgeable. At least, I think he’s knowledgeable. On our drive up North from Jerusalem to The Setai Sea of Galilee, Igor pointed out lots of different sights and explained them to us in Hebrew. We understood some of it, but it’s possible he was just pointing at different things and telling us that his wife makes good goulash, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. To be clear, we hired Igor as a driver, not as a tour guide. That was just a free bonus.
The drive took a little under three hours on highway 90, which runs along with border with Jordan. For most of the drive we could see Jordan on our right. We saw the spot in Jordan where Muslims believe Moshe Rabeinu (Moses) is buried. We didn’t stop once. I wanted to stop for ice cream at a gas station but Tzvi said we were too close and should just power through. [Tzvi: that’s an unfair characterization of the situation. It was more like this:
Hallie: I have to pee.
Tzvi: we’ll be there in 10 minutes.
Steph: should we stop at a gas station so she can pee and we can also get them ice cream?
Tzvi: we’ll be there in 10 minutes, let’s just wait.
For Steph to now claim that she wanted ice cream and I deprived her of it is just blatantly false.]
Whatever. The kids did great on the ride. Madeleine fell asleep about ten minutes before we got there.
We got to the hotel around 4 and unloaded our luggage. The arrival was… unexpected, to say the least.