Los Angeles. Day 7. Rollin' like a celebrity.
“Look at all those movie stars,
They’re all so beautiful and clean,
When the housemaids scrub the floors,
They get the spaces in between.
I wanna live a life like that,
I wanna be just like a king,
Take my picture by the pool,
’Cause I’m the next big thing.”
Well, we actually slept okay last night. I think Madeleine got up at some point, but we definitely slept better than previous nights.
We woke up, cuddled a bit, and the headed down to breakfast. We had a nice leisurely breakfast, as we had nothing to do, and then headed up to the roof to grab seats by the pool. It wasn’t too crowded, but there were already a lot of seats taken.
We got a few seats pool side and under an umbrella and then set up for the day. We spent a few hours swimming, reading and relaxing.
At 1230, Tzvi went downstairs and found his parents in the lobby. They’d come to spend the afternoon with us. He brought them up to the roof and we took up a second spot under some umbrellas around a table where we could order lunch. We ordered Hallie a jelly sandwich and fries because there was literally nothing else she would eat. Tzvi and I both got salads, and Madeleine got pasta with tomato sauce. Everything was actually pretty good.
After lunch Mark and Sherry hung out with Hallie in the room while Madeleine napped and Tzvi and I sat by the pool, mostly just watching all of the other people. This place is quite a scene.
First there were the people on our right. It seemed like two families somehow related. They had a cabana (which runs about $1200 for the day plus food and drink). They had a bunch of kids and just seemed like a nice, maybe Persian/Moroccan family enjoying the day. Then at one point in the morning another woman showed up and joined them. I was sitting at the edge of the pool watching Madeleine and Tzvi came over and very subtly sat down next to me and said, ‘don’t stare, but do you see the woman in the trucker hat over there? That’s Emmanuelle Chriqui, from Entourage and You Don’t Mess with the Zohan.’ I asked how he knew, and his answer was, ‘well she looks exactly like her and they all just said “Hi Emmanuel!” No idea what the connection was, but she spent the day with that family. She looked amazing. I think she is about 45 but could easily pass for low 30s. I guess the family must have been “somebody” because at the end of the day I overheard one of the moms saying something like, “This place is so great. Why have we never been here before? No one bothered us ALL day!” Tzvi thinks they are probably on one of those real estate reality shows or something. Who knows.
On our other side was another interesting group. It was two couples. The first just seemed like your normal LA couple. Apparently they had been together a year. Then the second couple walked in, a friend of the first woman. Well, she was something else. She was 26 and with her new boyfriend. She wore a bikini that was basically not there. She was Bulgarian, so I guess nudity isn’t a problem in Bulgaria. I think both women had fake boobs, fake lips and fake who knows what else, but the Bulgarian woman was a bit more petite. She was also wearing 4 inch platform heels, poolside. Just watching her walk in her heels, basically naked, but wearing a hat, was hilarious. She had a scar on her leg and her friend asked what happened, and she very nonchalantly said, “oh, I was stabbed… by a homeless man.” Then she started praising Trump. At one point the Bulgarian woman and her boyfriend went to the bathroom, and the other woman told her boyfriend, “that girl has a lot to learn… if I had her body and my brains, I’d rule the world.” I guess someone thinks a lot of themselves. They were also Vaping in our faces and Tzvi couldn’t stand it. He kept waiving his hands around swatting away the clouds of vape, but they were so self-involved they didn’t even notice it, even though he was being very obvious about it.
There were some other families and kids at the pool too. At one point in the morning there was this British girl that started talking to Hallie and swimming with her. She was 5 but couldn’t swim without floaties. Then throughout the day she kept coming over and asking where Hallie was. Finally Hallie came back in the pool late in the day, but after a few minutes she kind of ignored her when she didn’t want to be bothered anymore.
Overall it was just fascinating watching the people around the pool. You had your few “normal” families like us, and the rest were just walking plastic surgery advertisements. It’s just a good reminder that no matter how fake and showy people may be here in New York, it’s nothing compared to LA.
Around 630 we went back down to the room and started packing for our trip home. At one point Robyn took the girls downstairs to “look for rappers” but also just to get the girls out of the room so we could finish cleaning up. That was helpful. The girls ate snack for dinner and some leftover schnitzel. I ate some leftover string beans which was a huge mistake because I then got violently ill. Thankfully it only lasted an hour or so and I was good to go after Shabbat! (By good to go I mean no longer sick but still maintaining that baseline nausea that has plagued this entire trip that we assume is from exhaustion and eating garbage).
Shabbat ended a little after 8. We put the girls to bed, but of course Hallie was upset we were going out. Oh well.
Mark and Sherry picked us up and we drove into Hollywood for dinner at the Musso and Frank Grill, which is the oldest restaurant in Hollywood. It’s been in the same spot for 103 years and has lots of Hollywood history. Back in the 30s, 40s and 50s the restaurant was literally known as the center of Hollywood social life, and even today it’s still a hangout for celebrities, though it’s also become a bit of a tourist attraction. That being said, it was still a great meal and great experience. The waiters all wear red jackets and bowties and the menu feels like it hasn’t changed in 100 years.
I ordered a White Russian which was pretty good. To start we shared fried zucchini and Tzvi had an iceberg wedge with lots of blue cheese and blue cheese dressing. For mains Sherry and I both had salmon, and Tzvi and Mark both had the fettuccini alfredo. According to the menu, silent film stars Douglas Fairbanks and Mary Pickford were frequent guests at Musso’s, and while on their honeymoon in Rome, they had fettucine alfredo, then came home to Hollywood and brought back the recipe; the restaurant claims they use the same recipe to this day. We also got sides of potatoes and broccoli, but they were so huge I think I ate like one piece of potato. For dessert we had Crème Brulé which was okay. I wish I would have been hungrier to order more dessert.
After dinner we drove back to the hotel and said a final goodnight to Sherry and Mark. Then we went up and finished packing up. Tzvi was all nervous about needing to leave early in the morning and wanted to be as ready to go as possible. Yeah, that didn’t add to the stress.
Good day.
Epilogue
We woke up early. Too early. Tzvi went into panic stress mode and finished packing, even though we had finished packing last night. We went down for a last breakfast, and then we were off to the airport in an Uber. We managed to check in quickly at the Mosaic desk, then went through security, but by then it was basically time to board and God forbid we weren’t the first people on the plane. Well, once we got on and got settled I realized that I had forgotten the sandwiches I made for the girls at the hotel. Good thing we rushed onto the plane and didn’t buy any food in the airport.
Things worked out alright though. Madeleine was kind of annoying, but she mostly watched her tablet and wasn’t too bad. Hallie watched almost five straight hours of Bluey.
And then we were home, except Jet Blue baggage handlers in New York are the worst. First all of the Mosaic bags came down, except for 1. That’s right, we got 4/5 of our bags, then the bags just stopped. It was so long that I sent Tzvi home with the girls while I waited for the last bag, and when it finally came, it was the only Mosaic bag left to come. Thanks Jet Blue.
Anyway, I’m sure we’ll look back fondly on this trip. Or at least we’ll look back on it. Or maybe we’ll just keep moving forward and never look back.
I’m tired.