Israel. Day 4. Sunday in its Exact Condition.

We woke up around 9 on Sunday morning, got dressed, packed a little and headed to breakfast. Same fare as the last couple of days and all delicious. After breakfast we finished packing and Tzvi walked to Avis to pick up our rental car. While we were waiting, Hallie made friends with a bunch of bellmen and the greeter man. He kept saying “come with me, I give you chocolate” and Hallie was like no. Then he told her its good, don’t go with strangers. Then they were friends.

Here are a few parting shots of our room and the beautiful Waldorf lobby.

We finished packing, checked out, loaded our car and were on our way to Herzliya. We’re spending the next three nights in Herzliya, while my parents and Avery and Gabs are going to Eilat. When we originally planned this trip my parents decided they would spend three days in Eilat while we went to Herzliya, as they wanted to have a few days alone for a romantic beach vacation. Then when Avery and Gabs said they wanted to come to Israel they got added to the Eilat trip, but we still never got invited. 

We drove the hour to Herzliya and checked in at the Ritz Carlton. The hotel is on the marina/beach. My parents actually stayed here for a couple of nights at the beginning of their trip and told the guest relations manager, Katie, that we were coming for Hallie’s birthday.  Katie met us in the lobby with balloons and told us there were more surprises for Hallie in the room. A bellhop led us to our room on the 10th floor, and just as he was opening the door, Tzvi turned to me and said, “we got upgraded.” At check in they told Tzvi that we got an upgrade because of our Marriott status, but he kept it a surprise until we got to the room. 

So, our room is amazing. Our room is an executive suite with a sitting area and a separate bedroom (the doors to the bedroom have slits, so it’s  not totally separate), as well as a balcony overlooking the beach that you can access from either room. We also have a kitchenette with a fridge, a sink, a stove and an oven, so we could basically live here forever. Oh, and Hallie has her own powder room. If white supremacists take over the government and we’re forced to leave America, I’m moving into the ritz. Sorry, I mean when they do. 

By the time we were settled into the room it was almost 2, which meant Tzvi had to head to the spa for his massage.

Tzvi: We each booked four hands massages, which means you have two masseuses working on you at the same time.  I went first. My massage was with two Russian women. One had short dark hair and a tattoo on the back of her neck. I was a little scared of her. We started the massage and they asked what kind of pressure I wanted. I said medium. I did not get medium. What I got was probably the best massage I’ve ever had, but it was quite a bit firmer than medium. At one point I cried out, “tell Putin I’ll tell him whatever he wants to know!” Anyway, it was great, and I recommend everyone try it at least once. Two masseuses means every body part gets worked twice as long.

After my massage I spent a few minutes sweating in the hamam and then went back to the room to switch with Steph. Hallie was still up so I put her in the stroller and walked her around the hotel. She fell asleep pretty fast and then I went up to the rooftop pool and spent about an hour laying out in the sun, reading and swimming. It was glorious. 

Steph: While Tzvi was at his massage I took Hallie around the Marina. There’s a little mall next to the hotel so we walked through looking for food. I ended up getting Hallie some strawberry Dannon yogurt and Fiber 1. Good lunch. She sat outside and ate it looking at the water. I tried to get her to go to sleep but that never happened. Finally it was time to switch.

My massage was the same, so painful but so great. I’m pretty sure at one point one of the Russian ladies was on top of me. Her knees were on my calves and her arms were doing my back. Sometimes I’d be like “ow” and she’d say “no, its good.” It was.

Tzvi and I met back in the room at 4:45 and got ready for dinner. We made it out around 6 and drove a half hour to Tel Aviv. We tried to find parking near the restaurant but there was no street parking, so Tzvi dropped us off and decided to drive around one more time before going in a lot. As soon as he passed the restaurant and turned left the waze said he was ten minutes away. So much for going around the block. Luckily when he got back to the street where the restaurant was he found a free street spot right there. 

Dinner was at Malka, the only kosher restaurant of famous Israeli chef Eyal Shani, who has a lot of non-kosher restaurants in Israel as well as a chain of fast-casual places around the world called Miznon, including one in Chelsea Market in NYC. The restaurant is trendy and well designed. We were seated in the sukkah, a steel hut in the middle of the restaurant. The place was empty when we got there at 6:30 but slowly filled up until it was packed. Tzvi was the only kippa for our entire meal.

Our server came over and explained that the restaurant focuses on fresh and natural foods, so nothing processed and everything simply cooked. They dont have starters or mains, but rather vegetables, fish, chicken and meat. The english menu was hilarious. They really need someone to proofread it because some of the dishes were ridiculous.

“Fennel babies roast gently.”

“A bag of pea so wonderful we haven’t touched it at all.”

“A plate of spirit dazing spicy things. A slice of bread.”

“Key of the heart. There is only one.”

“Ontrib night stake, melting, juice.”

If you would’ve told me this was some sort of new Israeli poetry I would’ve believed it. Needless to say the menu needed some explaining. Actually, this was the one time we were able to glean more from the Hebrew side of the menu than the english.

We started by ordering bread in a bag, which was one piece of delicious bread in a paper bag, served with a bowl of techina and tomato foam. I asked for more bread and was given a second piece. Thanks. Then we each got a glass of wine and ordered Hallie the “Golden thin schnitzel filled with burning mashed potatoes that erupted.” This was basically a massive piece of chicken that was coated in mashed potatoes and then deep fried. I don’t know how they managed to fry the schnitzel without the potato breaking away, but it was amazing. Perfectly crisp and delicious.

To start, I had the “Leek in its exact condition,” which was a bowl of leeks that must have been slow roasted; they were caramelized and so soft and tasty. Tzvi had the “aubergine fillet medallions, olive oil,” which was some sort of eggplant thing - maybe confited eggplant? - in a bowl of olive oil. He loved it.

For our mains, I had “fillet on a steak,” which was actually fillet on a stick - a skewer of pretty sizable steak cubes with roasted onion and tomato and a salad, all served on what was basically a piece of cardboard. Tzvi had “lamb ribs and arabic salad” which was lamb chops, but actually a pretty accurate description. He said his was incredibly delicious.

For dessert we ordered the chocolate mouse, which Tzvi couldn’t eat. First they came and set a new paper cover on the table, and then they brought out the mouse in a paper cone. The waiter asked if we were ready. We said yes. He said are you sure you’re ready. We said yes. Big build up. Then he threw it down on the table and it lightly exploded onto the paper. Cute. Hallie and I scraped every bit of chocolate up off the paper. Rich and delicious.

When we were just finishing up, the manager came over to tell us he needed the table. Seemed a little odd, but Tzvi said that when he made the reservation it said we had the table until 8:30. Maybe that’s normal here (or in other countries)?

All in all, a fantastic meal, at times comical, bordering on dinner theatre, but all really delicious and memorable.

Hallie and I agreed it almost looked like doodie on a table.

After dinner we drove the half hour back to Herzliya and got Hallie ready for bed. Since Tzvi didn’t get dessert we called room service and had them deliver the Ritz Cake and a soy latte. The cake was like a chocolate log with some sort of rum cake and little chocolate balls on top. We got Hallie into bed pretty quick and then got into our own bed and tried to watch A Star is Born on on Tzvi’s computer while eating the cake, but Hallie wasn’t on board with that plan and refused to go to sleep. She spent at least 30 or 40 minutes intermittently crying and calling out to us to come give her more hugs. Eventually she went to sleep, but we didn’t get very far in the movie and then we went to sleep.

Good day.